STAY PUT, MR. FOSS!

"Let me live in a house by the side of the road                                                  
and be a friend to man."
With all due respect to old Sam Walter Foss,
I don't know how anyone can!
It's not just his language to which I object.
Inclusive or not, it's the thought.
I have a suspicion the poet elect,
if it had been my house that he bought,
would find himself surely agreeing with me,
before a few days had gone by.
For all of the trash that is dumped on our lawn
would make any home owner cry.
From beer cans and bottles to Styrofoam cups,
old clothing and cigarette butts,
scrap metal and garbage and furniture, too,
and even dead cats and dead mutts.
How can I befriend all those mean litterbugs
whizzing by in their cars and their trucks?
Their thoughtless pollution deserves only wrath
---and a fine of a few hundred bucks!
So take my advice and ignore Mr. Foss,
though he was a remarkable man.
If he moved to a house by the side of the road,
he would need a much bigger trash can!